Not Ashamed ><>

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Homesick

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

"Homesick"
MercyMe
Undone

Saturday, November 18, 2006

But even if He does not...

16Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

Faced with death, these three young Hebrew men had faith that their God would save them. That in and of itself is not what impresses me the most about their story. What impresses me the most is the fact that their faith was so strong that even if their prayers went unanswered, their faith could not and would not be shaken. I have to confess to being envious of that kind of faith.

I've been struggling through the emotions associated with watching a good friend battle cancer at a very young age. With a young wife and a six-month old son, human eyes only see the hurt that would come from Keith passing on. Without knowledge of tomorrow, it's hard to see how the good that could come from all of this could possibly outweigh a child growing up without his father and a young wife losing the love of her life after just a few short years together. And so, even as the doctors say that they are out of treatment options, I find myself pleading with God. Man may be powerless to heal my friend, but I know that God is not. I feel a little like Abraham, full of boldness, humbly asking God how many lives could be touched, how many souls won by Keith's amazing story... to His glory! ... if He would just let Keith touch His clothes.

In the midst of thinking about all of this, I launched iTunes to listen to "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns, an inspirational song about having faith to take God at His word, even in the face of great odds... a song that just as easily could have been about Nebuchadnezzar's furnace as it is about Peter stepping out of the boat and David standing up to Goliath. Listening as I typed this entry, I was struck by the sequence as iTunes randomly selected each new song. (Click the title of the song to view the lyrics.)
  1. Voice of Truth, Casting Crowns
  2. You Never Let Go, Matt Redman
  3. Praise You In This Storm, Casting Crowns
  4. It is Well With My Soul, Audio Adrenaline
I want to believe the Voice of Truth. I want to know in my heart that He is near... that He'll never let go. I want His perfect love to drive out my doubts and my fears... to have the faith to praise Him, even as rain pours forth from raging storm clouds that I was SURE He would have already calmed. I desperately want, whatever my lot, to be able to say that it is well with my soul... to believe that God IS, even in the face of unanswered prayer.

I have faith to believe that God can heal Keith. I'm just not sure how strong my faith will be if He does not.

Lord, help me overcome my unbelief.